There are times when loneliness can appear more acutely and painfully in our lives, such as seasonal holidays, birthdays and transitional stages. This is often the time that being alone turns into loneliness and tells us things like, ‘Everyone else has a family or a partner and are enjoying themselves and I’m alone.’ Or, ‘I’m not alone, I’m with my family or my partner and I still feel lonely.’ Loneliness is akin to grief and often leaves us with a real feeling of sadness and emptiness.
Living alone is a growing trend
The 2021 Australian census data showed that more than one household in four was a one-person household, with a general upward trend of people living alone. Whilst living alone does not necessarily lead to loneliness, there is a higher percentage of mental, emotional and physical health issues linked to this group.
Of course, loneliness is not exclusive to those who live on their own. Single parents, those who work away from home, or those in relationships that feel disconnected can all be sufferers. Loneliness can visit at any point in our lives and be very hard to deal with.
Understanding feelings of loneliness
Our culture sends us messages that we can make ourselves immune from loneliness by being married, having a baby, buying the perfect house and such like. However, there isn’t a partner, friend, child or material object that can protect us fully against loneliness.
Once we recognise this, we can shift to ask ourselves, ‘What is this feeling of loneliness telling me?’ or, ‘How can I change from seeing my life through a lens of loneliness, and what actions can I take?’
If you are struggling with being on your own or feeling isolated in your relationship, Clare Walker, Counsellor and Psychotherapist at Therapy Room, provides a supportive environment to explore and understand these feelings as well as offering proactive strategies.
Clare Walker, Counsellor and Psychotherapist at Therapy Room
References: Australian Bureau of Statistics, Census of Population and Housing, 2021.